Men And Women Have Several Main Differences, And How To Use Them To Promote Happiness
Posted: Tuesday, January 10, 2012
by elle kynzer
When I found a few hours for research, it was an accidental search that brought me into a topic that I knew needed more evaluation. The differences that exist between men and women, which bring friction and a lack of understanding. The characteristics are more physical than mental or emotional. When we look at the brain we automatically think mental, but the most important functions are actually physical in nature.
The larger size brain also lends itself to more dyslexia than women, but women tend to mood disorders and depression more often. Those things cross the gender lines, but we are speaking in scientific terms, and explanations here.
Men have a stronger threshold for pain, and need less painkillers than women, who are more sensitive as a whole to physical pain. This has nothing to do with men being macho, or manly, but it is due to their physical makeup.
Overall men perform better in Mathematics, and the explanation I found was it is due to a larger 'inferior parietal lobule (IPL). I know that algebra was not my best subject, nor one of my friends...she asked the instructor 'just how those abstracts were going to help her make cornbread?"...I laughed when Helen told me that. However, most men would automatically explain how that would help.
Men use words differently than women, and repeat or reuse them more often, which is why women are better communicators, usually, not always. For example, a new study was done that showed both men and women use about 16,000 words per day + or- a few. A few male chatters were at 47,000 words.
An old study showed men used around half of the words of women, and that study was flawed....or men have caught up twenty years later. However the study showed men used the same words more often, and women used a variety of descriptions and less repetition. The new electronics of texting, cell phones, and computers just may have closed the gap, for those who might have been more timid in a conversation face to face. We may never know that answer.
The language areas of the brain are larger for women, and their responses stronger in that area, but it does not translate to more conversational words.
Stress reactions for women has a new term coined by a female Psychologist Shelley Taylor known as "tend and befriend". The male response still falls in the category of 'fight or flight', which is an adrenaline response.
When we look for happiness, the differences between the sexes may offer some insight into future compatability, and it may be wise to give a lot of ground in areas we aren't functioning in as well as our mate. Of course not all males and females fall into the overall categories. And like the study of words per day, all studies may be circumspect to future changes.
Respect a man and his talents, just as you expect him to love and respect yours. Men respond more to respect than love, and although women aren't necessarily more emotional, there are certain aspects of the female that require a lot of compliments. Why else would she keep asking 'Does this make me look fat?" or "Do you still love me?" Always say "NO" and "Yes" in that order to those two questions especially if you are married.
Men should be made to feel masculine and needed; otherwise they wonder what their purpose is in the relationship, or else you are only mothering him and you can expect the same treatment he gave his mother, so check out that relationship for future happiness. If he was controlled by her, but rebellious, that's your future...will that make you happy? Reviewing childhood attitudes will help you find adult responses. Find your own place in his heart, and don't try to take his mother's, eventually that will backfire or be a big disappointment.
Men who make their wives happy have found the secret to the compromise of romance and expectation. Needy people will always turn off the most determined pursuer. Always be willing to take a step back, if someone pulls away... for that mystery will pull them back to you; if you don't, you will never know 'what might have been'. People tend to run away when relentlessly pursued or smothered, men are more that way than women, but it can work both ways.
People who agree in life in areas of religion, lifestyle, finances, and raising children will find more compatibility than those who are always "spitting in the wind", with someone who is diabolically different. Opposition attracts but it isn't always easy to live with. Write down your absolutes, and don't settle for anything less. Otherwise, it's likely they will leave you for someone else, with more compatibility, or the divorce will say "irreconcilable differences".
Never think you will change someone, because that's arrogant thinking, for "you can never make another person do what they are supposed to do". Never think you can change to be like them, and don't start giving up your dreams. Look ahead into the dreams and goals you have plannned, and find out theirs. It isn't likely a homebody who wants to raise a family near their parents is going to want to go to Africa and serve in the Peace Corp with you, and be happy doing it.
Be realistic, and happiness will be easier to obtain. Happiness is a journey and not a destination, so learn to enjoy the small things in life. Too often the single want to be married, and the married want to be single, and the widow and widower wish they had enjoyed the time they had together, but now it's gone. Find good in your place in life, it will draw more love and happiness to you.
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Top-level comments on this article: (7 total)Elle, I wish I could give you a ten for this article - it is so informing. Most of this information that you have shared, I was not aware of. Having 4 daughters and listening to them chatter from an early age - I was pretty sure girls use more words and communicate effectively.
Truly, you have researched this article and it is most interesting. Thanks so much for sharing!Please log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Elle a very interesting read so thanks for sharing. One part in this article you say about man needing less painkillers than a woman, now why does that not suprise because after all they are no married to one...Joking aside loved the article.
Keep well
KacyPlease log in to respond to this comment.
This has much breadth, but also much depth,. I found it fascinating, and wanted to keep on reading about the topic. Great information.Please log in to respond to this comment.That's a great idea, this topic needs a professional to continue it, and you have the credentials and professional ability to expound more deeply on males/females, and their relationships...I only took the psychology needed for my CJ degree. I'd love to know more about it too...would you dig deeper and write an article or two on some of your observations as a life counselor?Please log in to respond to this comment.Yes. Tell me something pointed and something that you think I could delve into with my kind of apprroach. I am ready too, but truly need some suggestions.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Ella,
Great informative article. I remember reading a study once about 4 year old girls and boys who where the subject of this study. It went something like this,
Observing the boys converse: Usually two boys at a time sat shoulder to shoulder (no eye contact) discussing one thing at a time, ie. a truck.
Observing the girls: Usually several girls stood (lots of eye contact) in a circle discussing many topics at a time.
As you point out, there are many differences between men and women. Since women/girls tend to be the "gate keepers" of relationships, it would behoove us to understand men better vs. trying to make them more like us in terms of communicating.
Kind regards. DawnPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Excellent article. Interesting to say the least.
From my own experience, I would prefer to work for a man any time before I'd choose a woman boss. I've had an extraordinary life when it comes to my life's work in the office and I've loved each job, some more. However, the two women involved in my working career were _itches, to be sure. They were jealous, sneaky, self-protective, arrogant, numero uno loving to the exclusivity of others, and on and on.
Men are inventors, physicists and scientists. But women are closing in. Just have a look at doctors. Now there I'd rather go to a woman doctor because she's smart and really gives a thorough exam, is gentle and kind and concerned. The gender gap has narrowed now that women are permitted to explore learning freely. Not like years ago. And certainly not as in the "keep women down" countries.
Great information.Please log in to respond to this comment.
I like your conclusion, Elle, and I also believe the differences between men and women are mostly physical. Interesting about the pain threshold. I see how men can beat each other up and not be that bothered, but I wonder how men would handle the pain of childbirth?
I think the problem with so many studies is that such a relatively small sample is used, and there are so many uniquely personal factors that make people what they are, and affect how they behave, that unless all of those are understood and taken into account, the results of the study are likely to be pretty inaccurate.
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Vive le difference!
Men are also asking,"Does my fat ass make my ass look fatter?", queries these days.
An interestingly written expose.
Affection,
PaulPlease log in to respond to this comment.
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